officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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