This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
