I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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