She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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