how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
