I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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