what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I will be naked everywhere
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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