Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
