thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
