How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
