tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize