his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize