I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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