$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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