Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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