1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.