Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.