question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.