It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
are you so shy because you have an std?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.