I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm both gender and math confused
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
