you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
