Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
