My brain says no but my pants say off.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
