YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't deserve a penis
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
