My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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