She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
