Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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