I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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