drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
