Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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