rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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