Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
