She's JV to your varsity
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize