Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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