Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
