hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
