no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
