Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
