Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize