So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
