so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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