Me. At least after what I've been through.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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