Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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