we're blogging at a bar
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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