smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
if i can run in heels then i can drive
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
