My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
