another moral hangover. fuck.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
