yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
