Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend