I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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