i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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