this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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