I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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