so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
