he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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