im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
