i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
