I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
