i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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