I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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