i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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