i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
