She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
