Even water is tasting like jack daniels
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
