the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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