who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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